dailydatewithgod

It is easy to get stuck on the specifics of a situation.  This person was involved when this happened at this time for this long.  We value in the world the details and the specifics.  News stories capture our attention and we follow who was involved and what they did.  What does not get reported is the process those people go through to get back to a sense of peace.  I have found on this journey of life that the content itself plays a role but it is the process which my soul walks me through to freedom that deserves my focus.  God wants us all to return to our heart space where we can experience the profound power of love present in our lives today.  The journey to get there is our process.  The things that are keeping us from traveling the path to our hearts are not the most important aspect of this life experience.  We all have circumstances and some of them are very similar but what connects us with greater strength is the fact that we are all on the same journey.  I can easily get stuck in the specifics of what happened to me as an incest survivor or recovering addict but that content is simply the portal to step into the process of returning to my wholeness. The journey of the soul from the mind to the heart is a process designed by God to return us to ourselves to experience the freedom of love.  We can and will get distracted by the content and lose sight of the process.   When we do that we can lean on God to redirect our thinking and our focus.

It is not hard for us to grasp that things happen in a given circumstance or situation. What can be difficult is to get that the decisions we make  or feelings we have regarding those circumstances can be carried on past the existence of the circumstance.  This is not a good or bad thing, it is simply something of which to be aware.  When we bring the thinking or feeling created in one circumstance to another, they may seem out of context.  Our mind does this automatically as a way of safeguarding us and allowing us to not have to use energy to think.  This can create difficulty because it means our thoughts and feelings are not present in the context we are in, they are from the past. They might apply but they may not.  Being aware of our thoughts and feelings outside the context provide an indication of something bigger that may be trying to get our attention.  They are not invalid because they are out of context, but they may need to be handled separately.  Asking God for clarification of our thoughts and feelings as they apply to the context we are in is something we can do by stepping down from the automatic pilot of our minds and into the open space of our hearts.  There we can invite a pause and time to allow us to connect to God and our deepest selves and listen with an open mind and heart what our thoughts and feelings are indicating to us.  It sounds overwhelming but in my experience it simply takes practice and can clear up a lot of confusion from our minds.  God gave us thoughts and feelings so we would pay attention to their greater message of love calling us in.

Shedding the old and making room for the new is an essential element of life.  We see it all over the place in nature.  Sometimes we resist this necessary flow of life but after a while we cannot avoid it.  It occurs in us on a cellular level without our awareness.  As we mature through life this necessary movement of life is seen in our relationships, our jobs, and our interests.  The one area where we often do not easily allow for it is in our thinking.  How many of us have gone along doing something or believing something because that is how it has always been?  If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right?  There is actually a scientific term known as cognitive dissonance which speaks to our minds capability to hold on to a belief even past reason.  The reality is we are not the same person we were three years ago or even three weeks ago. God is interested in our hearts and minds moving with the necessary flow of life. It is about taking part in the mystery.  It is about making the room for the light.  We need light, it is necessary. Closing ourselves off is not.  It does not mean that everything must go all at once and that is not usually how it happens.  We cycle through necessary changes piece by piece and step by step.  It is not about rushing to it but making room for it.  It is about allowing the flow of love in and out of our hearts to reach the mind’s eye.  When we surrender to the necessary flow of the universe of love which God created for us, we find ourselves enchanted and intrigued by all the possibilities that God always sees.  The first step is the willingness to participate in life the way it is.  It can be scary to let go and question long-held ideas, but if they are hindering our freedom we find our hearts calling out to us to get back to what is necessary.

When we pause and take a moment to listen to the chatter that goes on in our minds, it can be quiet alarming. Most of us do not pay attention to the constant dialog going on in between our ears.  We have become accustomed to the sound. It is like white noise in the background.  But pausing, taking a breath, and watching the conversation can provide a great deal of insight into what makes us tick.  I learned to pay attention to the words and the tone in which I heard them being spoken.  When I first began to do this on my daily prayer and meditation dates with God I was embarrassed.  As if God did not already know what had been going on.  She was delighted that I had the courage to take a look.  The first step was to sit and listen.  The objective was to observe without getting drawn in.  It is not easy to do and it is only through practice that I am able to do it today.  I  was shocked when I realized how much power I give the conversation.  I cried when I realized I would not talk to my worst enemies the way I talk to myself.  I laughed when I realized it was pretty much the same thing over and over again but the content was a little different.  The underlying message was along the lines of doing things wrong, not being or doing enough, or how it was all going to turn out for the worst.  Who needs the local news when these are the headlines chattering in my head?  God taught me in the space created by the observance to consider the source.  By dropping my attention from my head to my heart I began to hear a different conversation.  It is this continual pausing and choosing to drop into my heart especially when the noise in my head gets loud that gives me room to breathe.  It puts the head discussion in perspective and opens me up to asking God for another way to see things.

The Hebrew scriptures says men and women are made in the image of God. The magnitude of importance that each of us carries as being the reflection of God to the world is immense.  It is almost too overwhelming.  This can cause people to have misconstrued ideas about what or who God is.  It also accounts for the trouble we get ourselves in when we turn people into gods.  Doing so demeans our value not to mention placing unfair burden on other people.  An image is a reflection of the reality.  It is not the reality itself.  We have the capacity to reflect God to ourselves and each other but the fact that we fall short in doing so reminds us of our humanity.  It is not a failing of our potential or capacity, it is a way to remember we are one of many.  The humility to recognize and own being an image of God becomes a heart-felt decision to share the message of love with all the other images of God.  When we lose sight of our reflection, we can look to others who are able to reflect it back to us in the moment.  It is an ever flowing exchange of opportunity for love to grow and be shared among all.  We have not failed because we lost connection with our reflection.  We stumble and fall, our reflection gets cloudy and blurry, but we do not cease being a reflection of love.  What we need in that moment is to be reminded by others. God is ready to open us up to all the other reflections around us if we want to see them.  We get snagged when we decide ahead of time that certain people or situations could not possibly reflect love. It closes us off to the possibilities of witnessing love’s reflection God has in mind for us.  God encourages us to look around and remember.

When we gain clarity about the purpose of our lives from our hearts we come to the realization that all the things we have been carrying in our hearts, may not belong. We learn to let go so there is more room for love.  Sometimes it is not about letting go, but about reshaping what is there.  The desire of our hearts to live the full potential of who we are calls for us to use the gifts and talents we have been given in the same manner. They are our God-signature for ourselves and the world.  When we begin to connect with them we do not know how they can best be used, but we figure out a way to use them.  Overtime as we draw closer in relationship to God we may find ourselves called to untangling how we have used them.  Just because something is working, does not mean it is working as best designed. I learned to involve God in what I sensed my gifts are.  There have always been things people told me I was good at and I learned to focus on them. I knew I would be accepted and successful if I did what others approved of.  In recovery, I started to notice with a clear head the things I enjoyed doing, the things I was good at, and the things I was excited to be involved in. I recognized some similarities but God showed me on our dates I needed to untangle what part belonged to others and what part belonged to me.  Only after untangling the use of the gifts and talents for approval could I pursue using them for the purposes God intended. Having the clarity in my mind and heart created space for them to be carried out in love.

I can easily take for granted my ability to see.  I remember things better by seeing them than just hearing them.  It is fascinating to watch what my eyes are drawn to and the quick way my mind immediately begins to assess what I am seeing.  There is so much to the sense of sight, but it does not imply vision.  Vision is an overarching perspective for which sight is only one element.  It is about creating and living into an experience.  On my daily dates with God I have learned that God’s vision for my life is broader, fuller, livelier, and grander than my own.  I am limited by my human capacities and I simply cannot see the things that God sees.  In our closeness I can rely upon the power of God to carry me through such a vision because I am not doing it alone. I never expected being an incest survivor would teach me about love as acceptance.  I did not know that becoming an addict with food would show me the power of love as surrender.  God saw love in all those experiences.  We can all align ourselves to God’s vision of the presence of love in our lives because it is not about us making it happen.  It is about opening ourselves up to the possibility.  It is about receiving it in ways and experiences we could not envision.  Walking a spiritual path is trusting the vision of God to bring about love in ways we never we knew we needed or wanted.  God is committed to the growth of our soul in love. When we come across experiences that seem like the farthest thing from love, perhaps they are just outside our vision of love but not God’s.

We carry around this funny notion that we can keep God out of certain part of our lives.  I certainly did.  It was not until I realized that God wanted to be a part of every part of my life that I began to see it differently.  I also noticed over time as we grew closer on our dates that the areas of my life that I did not include God in were the same areas where I continued to struggle.  Once I connected to the idea that if I invited God in I could allow peace, understanding, and freedom to  accompany my experience.  Slowly I began to recognize that wherever I go, God goes with me.  Yet God will not intrude on my experience.  It is up to me to turn to Him and invite him into the experience. I even noticed that when I wrote letters to God I at the end almost in a response from God I would write, “I AM, I AM WITH YOU, and I AM WITHIN YOU”  God is with us wherever we go because God is within us.  We were created by her so wherever we go, God is there.   It started by first recognizing that wherever I found myself, God would be there too.  The power of the realization came when I decided I wanted God to be wherever I AM .

I have always had a curious mind. As a kid even if I didn’t ask my questions out loud, there was no shortage of them in my head.  What I didn’t understand for a long time is that while contemplation is very helpful it has its limits.  Thinking about something and doing something pale in comparison.  Thinking about it generates more thoughts and feelings. Those are important but often the answers I am seeking can only come from attempting an action and getting reactions.  I feared attempting certain things because I thought I needed to know how it was going to turn out.  My framework around failure or disappointment was such that if it happened it defined me.  A messed up attempt that someone else might learn something from would instead tell you who I was.  The messages I heard in my mind were that I am a failure and  I am a disappointment,.  I marveled at people who lived by the motto that it is better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.  My goal, thought not consciously, was to not need anything for which I would need to be forgiven.  It is a very restrictive way to live.  Once in a while I would step out of that but at my core I was striving for a sense of safety which seemed to be lacking.  One could say that my life up until I got into recovery was about surrounding myself with facades of safety one of which was to not fail and to not disappoint. In recovery I learned I cannot think my way into right action, but I can act my way into right thinking. As I began to build an authentic relationship with God on our daily dates I saw that God’s love and acceptance of me did not waver no matter how many failures or disappointments occurred.  God sees life through the lens of learning.  My perception is that God is excited when we are attempting.  When I am attempting, I am opening the door to learning.  It is not about the result, it is about attempting to get some result so I have something from which to learn.

So much of our experience in the world is centered around the immediate.  We are rewarded for being the first to respond and to know the answer.  I love having resolution as quickly as possible as much as anyone.  It is hard to be in the space of not knowing or contemplating.  There is a certain sense of failure often perceived with hesitation.  If you do not know the answer right away, it may be that you not wanting to say or share with another.  If you hesitate it’s because you are not ready.  Both of those might be true, but why is hesitation seen in a bad light?  It is only when we compare it to the opposite of immediate and certainty that hesitation is less than desirable   Both have a place in our experience.  When we find ourselves hesitating we can use it as an invitation to explore.  Hesitation can be less about not knowing and more about knowing you need more time to consider the idea or the feeling.  Sometimes we need the hesitation experience to sparse out which is genuine time and which is stalling.  We want to have clarity around our motives and it may require getting quiet first.  I can hesitate out of fear, as we all can.  Instead of making ourselves wrong for hesitating out of fear, we can choose to see it as God’s gift of exploration.  Maybe God wants us to be able to see our fear and bring it to him.  She knows that fear will not live long in the truth of who we are based on our design. It takes time to know what resonates most truly with our inner hearts.  It can require pause and quiet and all the things for which the world says there is no time.  If God created time then I am thinking that God perceives plenty of time for anything and everything that we allow to be reconciled to our hearts.  From there our decisions will generate more opportunities for love and peace in ourselves and in the world.  It is easy to fall prey to what we perceive as other’s necessity for immediate answers.  It take courage to hesitate and allow ourselves to rely on God to bring us to a space of true peace and love not just the momentary gratification we get from a quick response.