dailydatewithgod

The awareness and recognition of who we are in God’s eyes comes from the practice of letting go of our fixed ideas about ourselves.  We live our lives with perceptions and labels for ourselves of which we are not aware.  Typically when one of them begins to cause us pain do we take a closer look and examine it.  As an incest survivor an easy way to handle the situation was to blame myself.  It is a common response of a child in an abusive situation, I am not unique.  What I didn’t realize until I got into recovery from my own self-destructive habits was that I took the idea and ran with it.  It became a catch-all for many things in my life.  If there was no explanation, then it must have been my fault.  I should have known better, prevented it from happening before it did, acted as expected, etc.  Many of us have experiences like this.  The content is not important but the process is.  I began to notice in recovery how often I apologized for myself.  I often used the word afraid to describe other feelings like disappointed or sad.  The process of detecting how this child philosophy was integrated into my every day life took patience.  My earliest inclinations were to hear myself say something and then give myself a hard time for doing so.  Not the best path to choosing another option.  The things we detect about ourselves require the discovery process because it is a default mode that we do without thinking.  By learning to bring God into it ask again and again: God how do you see me here in this situation? What am I meant to learn from this? God come between me and this perception of myself and how you know me to be. If I am willing to be a detective of myself I can then decide what it is I am still practicing that stands in contrast to who I am in God’s eyes and ask for God’s help in letting it go.