dailydatewithgod

When our hearts and minds are in alignment we feel a sense of being together.  Peace of mind is the expression used to indicate what this collaboration provides.  Strange that it is not peace of heart.  Perhaps because we assume that there is peace already present in our hearts but our minds have a more difficult time being at peace.  At least this is how it seems.  The way that thoughts race through our minds at all hours of the day and night.  There may however be a great lack of peace in our hearts but we are not as tuned in to what is happening.  The reality is the mind and heart are attempting to work in cooperation with each other despite evidence of the contrary.  When we take a mindful awareness approach to what is happening both in our minds and our hearts we develop a sensitivity to how our thoughts effect our bodily experience and vice versa.  On my daily dates with God when we have the time to slow down and experience stillness, I am more aware of the interplay that is happening.  God is showing me that true peace of mind comes from the recognition of how the heart and mind are working together.  This is what distinguishes true peace of mind from denial.  It is the choice to be non-reactive.  It is the discipline of observation that allows the shifting of working together of the heart and mind for the greater good.  It delays the reactivity to which we have become accustomed.  It is a choice to allow the mind and heart to work together to support my ability to be present and cultivate a peace of mind and heart.  I cannot do this alone it is done together with God. I take the action and make the effort but sometimes despite my best attempts I find I am not able to get to a place of peace.  As I humbly approach God with an openness and vulnerability, I can admit I am at a loss and need to do this together.  “God, help me to see and feel this differently.” She is more than happy to oblige because he knows it is part of the design to work together with her creation to bring about the peace of heart and mind that is the core of who we are.  God is ready to work together with us when we invite God in.

Have you ever noticed when you get a sense of something you have an inclination as to what you think about it?  Our original perception of things is not always correct. Sometimes we get a better idea with a fuller picture.  Sometimes it is hard to shake the original perception despite knowing we need more information. Because God speaks to us from the still small voice we tend to discount it.  We feel like we are gandering at what God is trying to tell us. We need a stronger sense of it or more information. We want God to speak to us in loud boisterous tones that will knock us off our feet.  We want neon signs or burning bushes.  We miss what comes when we gander because it seems too simple to be true.  The more time I spent on my dates with God the strangest thing happen.  The direction obtained when gandering becomes more reliable. Those glimpses become hunches and those hunches bring a sense of freedom.  But it is easy to get carried away in the feeling.  I often say to God, is this you or is this me putting this on you?  If it is what you wish for me to pay attention to then allow me another gander.   I trust that if I miss it the first time because I am not present in the moment it will come around again.  Ganders of things from God tend to be felt in our hearts but if we are closed off to our own heart because we are keeping ourselves safe we may miss out.  I know God invites and re-invites us over and over again into the life she wants for us.  He does so because he knows it is what will make our hearts beat and the light in us come alive.  It may seem too simple to lead to such a profound experience of life but complication is the human way, not the God way.

I often wondered why work and fun are placed on opposite ends of the spectrum in many people’s minds.  Work is the things we have to do and fun is the things we want to do. Yet we are drawn to things that do work. Didn’t someone have to work to figure out how things work or if they do?  Is it fun because the end result is something or idea people like?  What happens to things that work that nobody notices or takes for granted?  Is it less valuable?  God draws us to a quiet space to determine what is working in our lives, what we are working in our lives, and determining if those are in alignment.  Labor is involved but somehow I do not think we would do well if we had no experience of labor in our lives.  I have observed at least in the part of the world I live in there is an opening of perspectives in all areas of life: money, relationships, systems, and even words. One of the greatest forms of clarity in my life is knowing how I understand particular ideas and their meanings as they apply to my life.  I feel through my daily dates with God that I am invited over and over again to look closely at my thinking and perception of words, ideas, and actions.  Just because I have understood work to be one thing my whole life because it was what I was taught does not mean it still applies today.  The desire of our hearts is for our work to be something that works in our lives and if it doesn’t finding a way to reconcile it.  I need God’s help anytime I think where I am is not where I am supposed to be.

We don’t often think of much when we enter into a room. We might pay attention because we have to open a door or go through a hallway to get where we want to go.  We take for granted that we need to enter into buildings or homes to reach our destination.  Our entering is a step into getting where we want to go.  If there is one thing we focus on in western culture is where we are going.  More attention seems to be paid to where we are going then where we are. It is the focus on the doing instead of the being.  But as we enter into our day or enter into a room it signifies a beginning.  Within these beginnings are the moments of pause to ready ourselves to where we are being.  The entrances are the space in between where we were and where we are going.  When we put ourselves into what we are entering into we can ready our hearts and minds to be in alignment with who we are being.  It is not always what lies on the other side of that door, it is more about who we are being as we are entering into the room.  Our experience of what happens in the room or the other side of the entrance is dependent on who we are entering in as.

I am not sure if it is because I was born and spent the first nine years of my life living in New York or it is the draw to authenticity but I very much appreciate honest and forthcoming communication. I do my best to be straightforward with people and hope they do the same with me.  Some may experience candor as brutal and abrasive and I have seen such misuse of candor before, but ultimately it provides us with a pathway from which to move forward.  If I am not able to be honest about where I am in the moment, I won’t get very far. How can change what I am not willing to name?  I used to think if I expressed myself candidly I would be chided and made wrong.  And perhaps I have been in the past.  More often than not, I find people simply don’t hear me.  It is actually kind of funny how it happens.  I can share openly about something with a coworker in conversation and they glide right past it and respond to something else. It is important to consider the relationship and the context with expressing candor.  It helps me to see this because it reminds me of what God has shown me on our daily dates.  What is most important is the level of candor in my relationship with myself and with God.  At the end of the day, it does not matter what others hear or do not hear, believe or not believe.  What matters is that I create a clear place from which to move forward.  In order to have peace of mind, my level of candor with myself has to be authentic.  At the end of my life, no one comes with me.  At the end of the day I am the one who is inside my head and breathing into my heart.  Living in candor gives me the freedom called for by my spirit.  This includes the level of candor about what I am willing to face and walk through in any given moment. It is not a fault if I am still in denial about something. I have yet to come across any human being who is not in denial about anything in their life.  It is having the candor to acknowledge there are things about me I do not yet know.  There are perceptions of others for which I have no basis of understanding.  Candor about our limitations without making ourselves wrong is priceless.  If God does not vilify me for what I am not yet aware of why do I?

Traps are funny things.  They seem to come out of nowhere and we find ourselves in them and wonder how we got there.  Usually we find a way out and then invariably end up there again. The universe of learning we are in is dedicated to the idea that we grow. Sometimes life catches our attention when we find ourselves trapped in similar places.  The circumstance may look different but we are having the same thoughts and feelings.  If we are willing we can begin to take a closer look. Perhaps there is something for me to learn.  Growing up I just thought it was a sign that I had messed up yet again.  Clearly I was not meant to be involved or go down that particular path.  But when I took a closer look and realized I was the common denominator each time, I began to wonder if I was the trap.  Historically I would berate myself for ending up in the trap and make myself wrong.  In recovery, I began to see it differently. Perhaps it was not about changing the circumstances by changing my thinking. Starting with my perspective on the whole thing.  I cannot do this on my own.  I must reach out for God’s hand to show me back to my heart.  Sometimes I need to come across the same trap one more time to learn something new.  Other times I can see it coming and engage in asking God for a different perspective.  None of this process is a sign that we are messed up.  It just means we are in the human story.  God is dedicated to the freedom of our hearts so we may experience the vast and great nature of the love from which we come.  Sometimes we need to walk into those traps so we can choose to find a way out of them.  There is a great story by Portia Nelson “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk” which illustrates what happens when we find our traps. The only part I would change for me is involving God:

Letting go is not something we human beings like to do.  There is this idea that in order for something to be a part of us we have to hold on to it.  We hold on to things physically, emotionally, mentally, and energetically.  We can see the things we hold on to physically and there is a great deal of awareness in the western world in particular to move away from this.  As someone who has a unique relationship with clutter of my own I can fess up to wanting to do a better job of letting go of physical things. Sometimes it can be easy to let go if it holds no value for us but the minute we identify it as part of ourselves or our perception of ourselves, it becomes more difficult.  This is especially true of our thinking.  Our will, our ideas, our concepts, our perceptions are so much a part of ourselves we do not know where we stop and they start.  When we step into a life with God and are asking God to show us how to see things or open ourselves up to not being solely dependent upon our senses for information we are letting go.  Involving God in this process is about entrusting that God’s perspective may have more to offer.  We do not know all the answers but the Great Creator can lead us to the ones we need when we need them.  Entrusting is asking a lot.  In the 12 step recovery process this begins with step three which says we turn our will (thoughts) and our lives (actions) over to God (a power greater than ourselves).  That level of entrusting can only come after one has acknowledged that his/her will and actions are not working out so well (Step 1) and his/her concept of God is one they are willing to trust in because they know it to be the experience of opposite of what they do themselves (Step 2).  If I had not been beaten down so bad, I am not sure I would be so willing to entrust my life and my will to God.  I was not for a very long time. And there continue to be areas of my life where I am sure I have not yet exhausted all my own resources.  I think it is part of the human condition to believe we can do it on our own. Not all of us find ourselves out of control and nowhere to turn having exhausted all our own resources that we are willing to take such steps.  Many spiritual traditions share similar concepts as descried in 12 steps so we do not have to end up in a 12 step room to take these steps.  I just did not see them as essential to the vitality of my life until I came face to face with them in recovery.  Regardless of how I got here, one thing I do know for sure is the step of entrusting God with my will and my life has caused things to turn out much better than the path I was walking before. At this point I do not much care how I got here.  I am just grateful that my concepts of a power greater than me is one I am entrusting today.

We never forget the moments when we are struck.  Whether it is an idea, a person, an event, or an awakening we know we are moved somewhere in the depth of ourselves.  We can’t escape the impact even if we wanted to.  The reason we describe it as striking is because of the immediate impact.  It is the same striking that occurs when we are created.  I do not mean our physical birth.  I mean when we are the concept in the mind of God.  The striking is an extension of God’s reality.  It is an opening to the power within ourselves.  I have had the fortune of re-experiencing this on my daily dates with God.  Not every date but enough times that I am committed to cultivating this awareness in my heart. Somehow by showing up each day I find that my eyes are opened and my heart is willing to see and hear the striking that is possible.  I find myself struck by beauty, laughter, light, and the shared expression of concern.  Striking happens when I see tragedy or strife or feel overwhelmed at the complexities of life. I could easily say that I have become more emotional, but it is more than that.  I know because of the time spent with God each day, my heart is expanded and there is an increased sensitivity to the presence of things that will strike it.  Sometimes the striking can hurt if I lose sight of what is really happening.  If I perceive it as something happening to me then I may want to defend myself or shut down my heart to protect it.  If instead I am willing to see it as an awareness of my ability to be touched by life and trust it is all meant for my growth in love, I have nothing which needs protecting.  Striking of spirit one could say, enables us to experience the fullness of life.  God wants us to be struck by the magnificent spectrum of light present in life.  When we allow for the striking of our hearts it means we are willing to allow God’s sight to connect with the most intimate part of our nature.

Our awareness of things is often tied to our recognition.  Often we see past or through something we recognize because we are used to it.  Other times we are more aware of things we do not recognize because of their novelty.  It depends upon the circumstance.  If we are in an unfamiliar place we are more quick to recognize things because of their familiarity.  In a familiar place we recognize the unfamiliar because it stands out as not something we normally see in that context but are aware of its existence.  So how do we create awareness around things that are unfamiliar?  It requires us to  seek out recognition on more than just a visual level.   It is asking us to let go of what we know as our starting point. We do not recognize anger in a family that never raises their voices yet is steeped in sarcasm because our awareness of anger is raised voices.  We do not recognize affection as hugs and smiles if we were raised in a family where gifts were the only sign of affection.  God invites us to look beyond our concepts of what things are supposed to be like based on what we already recognize and open ourselves to what can be recognized from within us.  An awareness coming from more than just our physical eyes will strengthen the recognition of our hearts.  When we recognize where the connection is in our hearts we can expand our awareness.  Awareness and recognition thus become integrated and our perception of life broadens and deepens.

One of the elements of acceptance is the recognition of what is so right now. It may not be what we want or envisioned or were looking for, but to not accept would be denial of reality.  We all have many expectations of life, ourselves, and others. We can easily stay focused on those instead of what is right in front of us.  We talk about how it wasn’t supposed to rain, how they said they would do this, or we thought we would feel something else. It can sometimes show up in subtle ways but it is there.  The perspective I gained from living the 12 steps is to keep my expectations in check. They can easily set me up to resent the situation when they are not met.  If I learn to let go of them, to not be so wedded to them, I can have them but not be thrown off-course when they are not met.  It taught me how to accept the reality of the situation.  If I am continually disappointed by someone else’s behavior, maybe the problem is not their behavior but that I expect them to be someone other than themselves.  I have also had to learn this when it comes to my expectations of myself.  I spent many years denying my own feelings because it was safer.  I learn to make myself wrong and question whether they were appropriate or even real.  I deluded myself into thinking that if I just invalidated them, I could make the ones I did not want go away.  I had a very misconstrued expectation of what it means to be human. Feelings are indications.  They do not mean anything by themselves.  They are designed to provide information.  When I slapped a judgment on them, I gave them more power than they had.  Slowly I have learned to practice noticing and paying attention to what they might be indicating without making them good, bad, right, wrong, appropriate or inappropriate.  I learn to let go of judging my feelings by what I expect them to be.  If I am in the present moment, I am in the reality of what my feelings are now.  For me the first step is accepting what they are now in this moment without judging them.  It is much less painful. Feelings carry energy and energy is neither created, nor destroyed.  My thought that the feeling is wrong or will never go away is in stark contrast to reality.  No feeling is right or wrong and they always change.  They may come back which could be an invitation to take a closer look at what is causing them, but feelings flow when we let them.  God invites me on our dates to start with what I am feeling now.  When I start there and do not jump to judgment the next moment of now I may be feeling different.  It takes practice but is a much less painful way to live then expecting myself to not be human.