dailydatewithgod

God unites. Life is full of multidimensional experiences.  Some we are more in touch with than others. Being in relationship with God and having our daily meditation dates has opened up my eyes to a myriad of levels of experience I did not know were there.  Early on in my recovery it was about coming out the numbness and dullness of life that I created by my abuse of food and body.  This created a sometimes painful experience of awareness that I did not realize was there in the simplest experiences of life.  I also woke up to the network of activity going on in my mind which seemed to be mindlessly driving me to pain and discomfort.  We all have this and we have heard some people refer to them as the tapes in our head.  The sadly funny part is that they are usually the same tapes played over and over again.  Talk about insanity of doing the same thing over and over again. I learned early on I had to begin to open my mind and then my heart to a new way of experiencing life if I was going to change the tapes in my head.  The reality is that I did not change them, but I took the action to facilitate God being able to change the narrative in my head.  It is what I understand as the journey from the head to the heart.  In my heart was the hope that there was more than I was experiencing as I began to let go of believing everything I thought.  Then my heart had room to connect and create a flow in my life.  First it was my commitment to be present with God and myself in our daily dates.  Then it was looking at what contrary thoughts I could use to affirm the sense of being I was cultivating in our relationship.  From there I continued to take action and found myself behaving (often before the thinking changed) in a new way.  The people around me who had gone down a similar path of destruction and come out the other side guided me step by step.  Each momentary connection where I remembered to look to my heart through a pause and a breath for the final verification of what I was experiencing or needed to do next slowly became a way of living.  I realize now that the disconnect between my mind and my heart is where my true suffering lied because I was cut off from being able to access the truth of who I am.

God marvels.  As I wake up and prepare myself for my daily meditation date with God there is a hint of excitement and wonder as to what will come of my day as I begin it with this ritual. The experience of having time each day at the beginning to just be still feels new even after all these years of doing it.  I marvel at how God continually meets to welcome me with love.  I am amazed at my ability to accept it when some days my head seems very clouded with many thoughts or I fall asleep during our time together.  I am thankful that these dates are as much about me showing up for myself as they are about meeting God.  There are days when I feel disconnected from both God and myself but the commitment to the practice lives out its intention and definition of practice because I do it anyway.  It is a mystical experience to participate in something that has no physical measurement and yet know it is the very thing that has altered the course of my life in beautiful and profound ways.  It is a hope that there is always more going on than what meets the eye.