dailydatewithgod

God understands.  In our minds we think that knowledge and certainty are the answer.  We live in a wold full of reasons and reasonings for why things happen the way they do.  What happens when we come across something for which there is no explanation?  What about the times when all the standard explanations leave holes of mysteries still yet unsolved?  One of the elements of a relationship with a power greater than oneself is surrender.  I do not have all the answers.  I cannot comprehend all the possible reasons why someone acts a certain why (and sometimes neither do they) or why something happens.  Then I reach for the hand of God and say, What do you want me to do with this?  I cannot figure it out. I am lost.  Show me the way.  My mind will rebuff because it thinks if I just try harder or longer I will eventually be able to figure it out.  What if it is not my job to figure it out?  What if the purpose is to let go and let God figure it out?  My ego is called to surrender and I can either fight it or capitulate.  My greatest times of peace are when I remember that as long as I can rely on a power greater than myself that cares about me, I can surrender, be confused, and know I will be okay.

God is whole.  Our whole being is always complete. We were designed from the beginning to have within our reach everything that we might need to grow and be in life as our full potential.  The key for me is to remember what my source is.  If I start looking to people or experiences outside of myself for validation and verification of my existence, I may find a temporary piece but never the whole picture.  The full sacred and consecrated experience of life comes from my relationship with God.  The Great Designer made certain that within my heart of hearts are the tools to enlighten all experiences as demonstrations or calls for love.  The viewpoint from which I see the world is no longer limited by my physical eyes.  My daily meditation dates with God have created a heart muscle that sees and experiences the world around me in a wholly different way than just my physical eyes.  I do not perceive anything as sacred unless I am able to see it through the eyes of love.  This includes others and myself.  As long as I am left to judge what is happening by the world’s standards there is a broken element.  It is only in God that consecrated wholeness is reality.

God cares.  From the very beginning we were a thought in the mind of God.  Even before we took physical form the love that would develop every cell and atom that became us was intricately attended to.  This concern for the whole of us did not end when we arrived physically in this world.  God does not compartmentalize they way we do.  The love from which we were created is as alive today in us as it was before we were around to question it.  Sometimes we get so busy looking for evidence of God or something of love we end up looking in the wrong direction.  We assume it is out there.  We believe it will come from this or that place.  We think it is embodied only in a particular fashion.  But God’s love and concern for every living thing never has just one way of expressing itself.  Love manifests in every corner, through every experience, and in everyone.  It may look like darkness.  It may appear to be the opposite of God, but how can something erase its source.  God is either everything or God isn’t.  My challenge is to remember to turn to my Creator and receive the genuine demonstration of God’s concern in the form it is showing up in this present moment and not be blocked by how I think it is supposed to be.

God is within.  Before I took a chance on slowing my life down long enough to take a good look at it I was living at the effect of everyone and everything around me.  My whole existence centered around surviving which meant vacillating between battling my inner demons and numbing out from them.  Deep down I had this belief that I had somehow messed up so irreversibly that I could never make it up.  Being the persistent type of person that I am meant I was going to die trying.  Unfortunately my version of trying required a lot of numbing out.  By all appearances life wasn’t that bad.  I was just an obese young woman slowly killing herself with food to cover up the sadness, anger, and fear despite my faith in God.  It wasn’t until I could no longer keep moving forward on this trajectory.  I could no longer lie to myself that I would eventually figure it out.  I had enough sense of God because of some spiritual experiences even as a little kid, but I wasn’t sure they were enough to hold on. Looking back I realize that entering into recovery was God’s answer to my plea years before that to show me what I was doing to push God away.  God wanted me home in my heart as much as I wanted it.  God no longer wanted to see me run and abandon myself because God saw and continues to see me as the whole and beautiful bundle of love created out of love.  Today my life looks nothing like it did physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually 14 years ago. It also looks nothing like I thought it would.  The one thing that grounds me is my daily meditation dates with God.  In that space I get to renew my commitment to be at home in my heart, just for today with each breath in and out.  Then as I go through my day I can return home to my heart by taking a conscious breath in and out.  I never would have guessed it could be that simple.